Always
by Jane Peredhil
Summary: Jasper never told anyone, not even Alice, about his human life.  What if he had been married?  What happened to his wife after he left for war and was turned?  And what happens when they meet again after 144 years?
1. Chapter 1 fixed

**Hello everyone. No, I did not die, but school is terrible right now. I decided to re upload the first chapter of this since it was screwed up the first time I uploaded it. Yes, I have begun working on chapter 2 and I will get it up as soon as I can. Until then, this will remain on haitus. Be patient with me and btw, reviews make me very, very happy. :)**

_Saturday 19 August 2005_

_My name is Lilie Proctor-Whitlock. I was born in Dresden, Germany on December 13, 1843 to Karin Muller-Proctor and Wilhelm Proctor. My early life wasn't easy. My Vater drank constantly and when he was home, he beat me and my mother-mostly me as I got older. In July of 1851, my Vater took a knife to me and my Mutter decided it was time we go. We moved from Europe to Huston, Texas. When I asked Mutti why Texas, she told me that Vater would never look for us in the American South._

_Life was difficult in Texas. Other than the language barrier, we didn't know anything about where we were moving to. Luckily, Mutti was a skilled healer and the town desperately needed one, so she found a job quickly._

_We lived on the outskirts of the town, in the farming community. I was always outdoors and enjoyed gardening. My garden often got us by in tough spots, so Mutti encouraged it._

_After two months of living in Huston, I met our neighbour's oldest son, Jasper Whitlock. It happened rather suddenly. One minute I was gathering the laundry from the lines, the next he was standing in front of me looking desperate. Apparently, his younger brother had ran off while Jasper was suppost to be watching him. I helped find Daniel and coaxed him to come out of hiding with promises of cookies. After that, Jasper and I became best friends._

_We did almost everything together. His Mutter, Caroline, hated that. Whether it was because I was a foreigner or because she didn't think I was good enough for her son, I never found out. Eight years later, when I turned sixteen, I realized I loved Jasper. The next year, 1860, things became complicated._

_Caroline had decided it was high time Jasper think about marriage. She began to invite the daughters of society men to meet him, though nine times out of ten, they never saw him because he was with me. After a while, Jasper began to get anxious. He wouldn't tell me why, but I assumed it was because of his Mutter's pressure on him._

_In May of that year, Jasper took me out, which was rather normal for us. We walked thorough the sparse landscape to the river where we spent most of our free time. It was there that Jasper did something that I never thought possible. He asked me to marry him. _

Lilie stopped writing when she could no longer see through her tear clouded eyes. Setting her pen down, she walked over to her laptop and brought it out of sleep. Opening her email, Lilie found a message from her friend, Bella Swan. Lilie smiled as she remembered meeting Bella. Apparently, Bella's Mutter had been going through a social networking phase and had created multiple profiles on multiple sites. She had also felt the need to create a myspace profile for Bella. Bella had reluctantly began to sure through the site and had stumbled upon Lilie's profile. They began to talk and became fast friends. Lilie had even gone to Phoenix to visit Bella a few times.

Reading the email made Lily smile even more. She had worried about how depressed Bella had been when she moved to Forks to live with her Vater. Things seemed to be looking up now. She had a boyfriend and a wonderful new family. Her birthday was in a few weeks and she was sure that even though she had told the Cullens not to even mention it, they would totally ignore her and probably through a huge, unnecessary party. Lilie laughed a bit as she replied,

**Bella,**

**You're lucky you have people who care enough to**

**Throw you a party-don't forget that.**

**Of course I'll come if they do, just tell me when and**

**I'll fly over. I'm getting you a present-don't argue with me-**

**You won't win.**

**See you soon,**

**Lilie**

Leaning back in her chair, Lilie glanced at her journal, but she couldn't bring herself to write anymore. It had taken her weeks-from the time her best friend, Christian, had give her the journal- to now to just wring the first entry. And she wasn't even to the difficult part of her life.

Standing, Lilie walked over to her fireplace. Resting on the mantel were three very old photos. One was of Lile and Jasper when they were fifteen. The second was about two years after the first one had been taken, their wedding photo, and the third was Lilie, looking the age she had stopped aging at, holding a little boy, maybe six months old, in her arms. Tears invaded her eyes again as she picked up that photo. Setting it back down suddenly, Lilie turned away and walked swiftly into the kitchen to get her purse. Bella needed a birthday present, and Lilie needed a distraction.

Buying Bella's present, a new copy of _Wuthering Heights _and six volumes filled with everything Shakespeare had ever written, came easy. The distraction didn't. After buying the gifts, Lilie wandered aimlessly through the streets of Dresden, stopping every once in a while to look at a vendor's items in the Markt. After a while, Lilie found herself wandering towards the outskirts of the city, towards the graveyard. She walked until she reached a section of the graveyard that was old and run down. Walking over to a particular grave lying under an oak tree, Lilie kneeled down in front of it. On the stone it read:

**Rhue in Friden**

**Oliver Kuno Whitlock**

**geb. den 29 November 1863**

**gest. 16 Dezember 1865**

**Ein Sohn.**

Lilie brought her hand up to trace the name on the stone. _Ein Sohn. _A son. Her son. Choking back a sob, Lilie leaned against the tree and gently brushed off the dirt and leaves that had covered the gravesite since her last visit. Lilie had thought it would get easier as the years went by, but it wasn't. The pain was still as fresh as the day she had buried Oliver. After a few hours, she came to her senses and stood up, not bothering to dust herself off. She bent down and kissed the little stone before picking up her bag and turning, walking back towards the city.


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Well, here is the next chapter FINALLY. When I say I am a slow writer, I mean it. It can take me a long time to write a chapter, so you guys will have to bear with me. I do have one little thing: I am looking for a beta to beta all of my stories. Please! If you are interested, send me a pm. R&R!**

* * *

_Monday 7 September 2005_

_Jasper asking me to marry him was my dream come true and even though I knew that it wasn't because of loved me, I could not bring myself to care. We married in August of that year. I did not get much say in my own wedding, apparently Caroline had the whole thing planned out in case Jasper asked one of the girls she approved of. She almost had a heart attack when Jasper and I went to tell her. It was the look on her face that made me wish photography was so expensive. __We did not have a honeymoon, just moved into the house I had shared with my mother. She had moved to a flat in town earlier that year to make it easier for her patients to get to her. I had thought that married life would be difficult, but it really was not. Not much changed, except for relations with Caroline. The first few months of our marriage, she refused to speak with us at all, but after her period of silent fury, she would not leave us alone. I think she hated me so much, she was willing to send her son into an early grave as well. After about eight months of marriage, Jasper reached his breaking point. His mother was constantly over and pestering the hell out of both of us. She would not leave us along about having a grandchild for her. Jasper and I had made love on our wedding night, but never afterward. I loved him, but the maternal side of me was hesitant to bring a child into the world with the relationship Jasper and I had. With all of the pestering on Caroline's part, it did not surprise me when Jasper told me he had enlisted in the army. Texas had succeeded from the union in March and had declared war soon after. As hard as it was to part, I knew he would be happier away than at home. For a while after he left, Caroline still insisted on being a part of my life. Jasper had not told anyone but me where he had gone, but most could guess. Finally, after a while, I got the courage to tell Caroline to stay out of my life. We never spoke again._

Breathing a sigh of relief, Lilie put down her pen and stood, stretching. She was forcing herself to record her past, hoping it would help-her two degrees in physiology said it would. She doubted it. It had been almost 200 years and she could not even take off her wedding ring, not that she liked it much, Caroline had picked it out, but it was still her wedding ring. Sighing, Lilie stood and began walking upstairs. It was well past midnight and she would be needed at work in the morning.

_Bella's birthday is only a week away. I am more nervous than you could believe. Seeing Jasper after all this time and his…wife. I hold no ill will towards her; Jasper believes I am long gone, so I could never blame him for finding love again. I know my uncle wishes I would, but it is not that simple. I know Jasper is alive and despite the century, and more, that has passed, I cannot let him go. _

_Bella knows of my past, but when I found out who exactly she loved, I could not find it in me to tell her that Jasper was once my husband. She already feels horribly for me and the last thing I want is for her to somehow feel guilty as well. _

_I am not particularly fond of Edward. I know Bella loves him, or she believes she does, but he just does not set right with me. Even back "in the day", as Bella would say, Jasper was never as protective of me as Edward seems to be towards Bella. I know he wants to protect her from the dangers of his world, but I think there is a line between that and controlling her. And in my opinion, he is stepping very close to that line. But, he makes Bella happy, so I will not say anything…yet._

Lilie laughed as she placed her pen down. She could remember her conversation with Bella clearly. Lilie just hoped that she would never have to live up to her promise of tearing Edward apart if he ever hurt Bella. Standing, Lilie walked to the mantel over her fireplace. Looking past Jasper's service photo and their wedding photo, Lilie picked up the wooden and glass triangle containing a very old confederate flag. A few of Jasper's fellow officers had brought it to her door when they told her that Jasper was gone. Of course, they had never found his body, but they had found blood and torn cloth from his uniform.

_I meant to continue writing earlier when Alexei, my uncle, stopped by. He complains because I will not allow him to read you yet. I think someday I will, but for now I will leave my thoughts to myself. Besides, there is not much I have written that he does not already know. I realized while I was writing earlier that I have not explained much about myself. Of course, you have been hearing non-stop about my history, but nothing about how I am still alive after over one-hundred years. You see, I was born immortal, so I guess the real story is that of my grandmother._

_She was born around 1000 B.C. in Greece, though they moved to Italy when she was but a child. She was the youngest of three, one boy and one girl above her. My uncle, Alexei, or, I guess my great uncle, was the oldest. The middle child, my aunt's, name was Andromeda. My grandmother's childhood was as relatively normal as it could have been back then. Then, one day, Andromeda disappeared. Her father, more for show than anything, send out a search party, but they never did find her. Everything went back to normal for a few months until Alexei disappeared. The town they lived in went into an uproar for Alexei was one of the most respected young me in the town. When they could not find his body, the town turned to my grandmother because she was the only one of the three that was still there. The townspeople locked her away. While locked up, she fell in love with a soldier and became pregnant with my mother. Eventually, my grandfather helped her escape and Mutti was born. Soon after that, my grandmother began to have strange dreams. She was visited by the goddess Athena and was told of her powers. She had been chosen to united and lead the people with the powers similar of the gods. Today, we are known as witches. After my grandmother died in battle, my Mutti became the ruler. After her death of Typhoid fever, a story which is best for another time, I became the ruler with my uncle as the co-ruler. It turns out he had been kidnapped by a vampire and turned. He found me in 1945. As to what happened to my aunt, well, that is another story entirely. _

* * *

_Sunday 12 September 2005_

_Tomorrow is Bella' birthday. Yesterday, I talked her into allowing me to bring Alexei. I know it seems cowardly of me, but I cannot face Jasper alone. I am also worried that he will recognize me. Alexei thinks there is a small possibility, but it is more likely that he has forgotten me since vampires rarely remember their human lives. The rational part of me hopes that he does not, because he is remarried now, but the irrational part of me wants him to recognize me. The whole point of me writing to you was to steam my feelings for Jasper, but in recalling our time together, my love for him only seems to strengthen….._

Lilie had to bite back the urge to throw her pen, and the desk, across the room. But then she would have to explain to the hospital why her office was destroyed….again. Leaning back in her chair, Lilie closed her eyes. She had been working at the hospital as an OBGYN for going on two months. She wanted to move to the little town the clan had founded in Northern Scandinavia, but she could not bear leaving Oliver behind. Lilie often wondered why she was an OBGYN. She had multiple medical degrees, so she could easily change professions. Why she had to torture herself by working with pregnant women everyday was beyond her. Maybe it was to make up for not protecting her own child. Sitting up straight again, she decided that it was time to leave before she had to explain why her desk had gone through the wall. Standing, she stretched and straightened her dress before slipping her heels back on and grabbing her messenger bag and medical bag. Locking her office door behind her, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed Alexei's number.

"My child," he greeted her.

"So we're going with the priest today," Lilie replied, climbing into her car. She couldn't wait for the weather to get better so she could take her Ducati out a few more times before she put it away for winter. Motorbikes were one of the technological breakthroughs that she was thankful for.

"Well, I figured I should practice for Bella's birthday tomorrow."

"Look," Lilie said, "I know you don't like Carlisle Cullen, I am not his biggest fan either, but you don't need to ruin Bella's birthday, so no bringing up anything either," she said, rolling her eyes. It was typical of her uncle.

There was a long pause. "Fine, but I'm not making any promises."

"Fine, Tschüss," Lilie replied before ending the call and throwing her phone to the passengers seat. There were a lot of things she disagreed about with Carlisle Cullen, namely his whole position on "vampires not having souls". She had seen some of the worst vampires as well as the best and she knew that there was no way to automatically say that a vampire had no soul. It was the same as saying a human doesn't have a soul.

Pulling into her drive way, Lilie parked and walked into her house. Abondoning her bags near the door, she walked up to her bedroom and instantly turned on the taps of her ancient claw-footed bath tub. Pulling her hair out of its bun, she let it tumble down her back as she sat on the edge of the tub. Looking up at the mirror above the vanity, she let a tear fall down her cheek and could not help but send a silent prayer. _Goddess give me strength for tomorrow. _

* * *

**I know some of the history is not completely accurate or plausable, but it's a story, work with it! Also, don't send me flames if you don't like my opinions on Twilight. It's not my favourite book, there are things I hate about it and things I like about it. It's my opinion and everyone is entitled to theirs. Cookies for reviewers :).**


	3. Author's Note IMPORTANT INFO

**To my readers,**

**I am incredibly sorry for keeping everyone waiting (I blame high school with extra college classes…) Anyway, I was reading through my stories and I've realized how out of contact I am with them, so I have decided to put them on hiatus. But fear not! I am not abandoning them. I have just decided to write the whole story before I post the chapters, so that you guys will get regular updates instead of my non-existence. **

**Looking back at my fics, **_**And Back Again **_**will most likely end up coming first because I have always meant it to be a short, starter story, no longer than five or six chapters. **

**I know I suck at updates, but the minute I finish one of the stories, the chapters will begin to appear-just have patience (just don't expect amazing grammar because I still don't have a beta, so I do the best I can editing). **

**See you with a complete story soon,**

**Jane**


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